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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Joy Unknowable

from Autonimbus by NONENTITIES

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lyrics

Why do I feel like I'm being dragged and drowned
That I should have wings but instead I have this world weighing me down
I've always followed my own path
I make do with what I find
But why am I still in a place where I want to be farthest away from
Where every hope-filled start of a different day
Quickly succumbs to the same decay
It's getting harder to see the beauty in this existence
When everything I long for can't be found
It drags me further and further down

I don't want to feel this way anymore
I don't want to be this way anymore

But I can't help it, I can't help it
To deny what I feel inside would be to add another lie
In a lifetime of lies and denial
Hollow smiles and empty laughter
Can no longer mask the void that has been pulling me under
All I want is to stand firm in spite of it all
But how could I when there's no solid ground to stand on
Still, I try, but I fall, I try and I fail
(Will) I always live life on my knees
One with dirt and defeat

I don't want to be this way anymore
I don't want to feel this way anymore
I don't want to live this way anymore
I don't want to feel this way anymore

'Cause sometimes I feel that life doesn't want me around anymore
That my presence here has long ran its course
When almost every battle is lost
When I need a welcoming hand, opportunity shuts its doors
I'm slowly drifting towards dejection's all too familiar shore
I don't want this negativity inside me
I tried to disown it but the burden's truly mine to carry
I know now that I have to embrace it to fight it
Before it weakens me completely, overwhelms me
And becomes everything that I am

I don't want to feel this way anymore
I don't want to be this way anymore
I don't want to feel this hurt anymore
I don't want to live like this
I don't want to be this way anymore
I don't want to feel this ache anymore
I don't want to be this way anymore
I don't want to feel anymore

All I really want is to find true joy in this life
In a world where everything revolves around how much you have
And what you are is what you can show for it
The material, the artificial, the inconsequential
Which only serves to magnify the hole where my heart used to reside
As all life ends in the saddest of ways
I know mine will be the same
But when time finally takes away my need for air
I want these questions to remain
Am I wrong to ever feel this way?
Am I wrong to ever feel this way?
Am I wrong to ever feel this way?
Am I wrong to ever feel this way?
Am I wrong to ever feel?

credits

from Autonimbus, released December 16, 2021

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NONENTITIES NCR, Philippines

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